During the four hours I got to hold my dead baby, the anesthiologist came to take the epidural tubes out of my back. I had laid JJ down so that he could do his work, and I just marveled at how perfect she looked, and said something out loud to Sissy, about how she looked like she could just wake up any second and start crying. She just looked at me, and in the silence, the doctor said, "Just wait, she'll spend so much time crying, you'll wish she'd stop."
I didn't even blink an eye, when I told him, no, she wouldn't ever cry. Because she was born dead. He didn't say another word, just finished up what he was doing and left the room.
I wonder if he remembers that day...
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