I'm leaving on vacation, and I can't remember when I have been this excited about anything. And that was before I found out we will be stopping in Mexia on the way home to visit JJ. Its a combination of not having to work (yay!) and going someplace new (yay yay!) and some serious Andi time (YAY YAY YAY!)

I have had a lot of caffiene today. and sugar. lots and lots. heh!

Meanwhile, my mom's purse was stolen today. And my sister found out she has major dental work that HAS to be done ASAP, and it's 18 days before her health and dental insurance will lapse. And I tried to buy onion sets today so I can grow my own onions, and the garden store was out. They will get more, but not til I am gone, and that will be the last shipment. And the mutt has been really exhibiting some serious separation anxiety. I haven't left yet!

But in 3 days I will be in another state! literally and figuratively.

it was finally time.

this isn't the only tattoo I plan on getting for JJ. But its the most visible. I put it on my forearm, and I feel like I have crossed over a line.I finally have visible evidence that I was pregnant and I had a daughter. I have a permanent and publicly visible mark from JJ.

Covering it up at work has been only a slight annoyance- the adhesive irritates my skin.

Hot N Cold

I feel like I'm exactly where I should be, in this grieving process.
I feel like I'm doing so well some days.
I feel like I'm dying other days.
My therapist says this is the worst she's ever seen me.
I feel better than ever.
I'm grasping at straws.
I hang on to nothing new in this life.
I have a wish list of things I'd love to do this spring.
I want to sleep for the rest of my life.
I still cry everyday.
I can't cry anymore.
It's hard to live.
It's unthinkable to not live.
I'm completely numb.
I hurt so bad.

Stuck on a roller coaster.