Optimism Begins to Return

I made it to the gym tonight, but all I did was swim 10 laps, and do some stretching in the jacuzzi. It took me 16 minutes to backstroke 10 laps. My entire body is exhausted now. I may just hit the pool for awhile until I get motivated to do more. I on disability until March 18, and I'm really beating myself up about the fact that I could be at the gym for several hours per day. I would love to say its cuz I'm so busy with other things, but I don't think sleeping until noon counts as busy. I was up reading until 5am, so that might be why I sleep too late.

I'm optimistic that my motivation is about to get better- I finally broke down and spent my meager tax refund on a BodyBugg. I think it will help me get a real idea of what my calorie burn is, and help hold me accountable for logging my intake. Since I was sedentary after the leg surgery for so long, I think I've lost an incredible amount of muscle mass. I thought that with my mom gifting me a gym membership that I'd be working out more and rebuilding that muscle mass, but its coming along much more slowly than I want, of course. I think the calorie counters on the gym equipment and available online are not accurate for me and my post-injury status.

So I'm excited, and I keep checking UPS to see where it is. It should arrive tomorrow. I'm going to struggle with not staying up all night to read up on it- and I have TONS of things to get done tomorrow and the next day. So wish me luck with finding balance between setting up my new toy and taking care of my obligations! Plus add in the attraction of all 11 library books I have checked out, and I'm trying to get done reading them before they are due- I'm already turning in "I am Number 4" 5 days late. Ooops!

Anyways, all this to say that while I'm not particularly excited about returning to work, I am looking forward to earning money again, to put towards IUI. I lose the weight I gained with the leg, and the additional 30 pounds the RE wanted off so I can start a last ditch effort to have a baby before I get too old. My ovaries are approaching 41, so its getting close to do or die time.