Insomnia

I can't sleep, but I am tired. In less than 8 hours, I have a nerve conduction study on my lame leg. I'm thinking about getting a second opinion if my ortho doc seems to think its still just fine. I'm just tired of the brush off when I express concern about the drastic slowdown in progress of my healing. And his staff is annoying me with the lackadaisical handling of my disability forms that go to my insurance company. They don't seem to understand that without the insurance company getting those forms, I don't get paid my disability, so then I can't pay them. See if I bring them anymore coffee ever again.

I could be doing half a dozen other things right now. I owe letters to a friend. I could be folding some laundry. Doing some light housekeeping. Or snuggling with the mutt in my nice cozy bed. I thought when I quit facebook that I'd spend less time on the computer. 

I've been somewhat successful cutting back on caffeine. I wish I could cut back on sugar. And eating out. Those are my next two goals, I guess. Along with trying to find some lame leg exercises. Well, exercise that can be done despite a lame leg. I thought the bad part of this injury was the broken leg. Looks like the ankle dislocation was the real damage inflicter. It's not helping my mental status, for sure.

What I did for summer.

I broke my leg in two places, and I had to have an operation to install a metal plate and six screws. The photo above is ~two weeks post surgery. Summer 2010 = lame.

NILMDTS

Thanks to Ms. Fitzita  for posting this. Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is a wonderful organization, and every time I look at my photos of JJ, I thank them for what they do. They came to me at a most difficult time, under a serious time constraint, and thanks to Jeanne Luna's willingness to volunteer her photography skills and time, I have beautiful photos of JoSuelynn. There is nothing like a photo after your baby is gone, to help you remember all the precious details of your child's face, and tiny hands, and delicate toes.

My daughter was born just after 10am, and I only had four hours with her. Ms. Luna came and spent some time taking photographs, and was able to give us nine beautiful photos in time for the funeral a few days later. A couple of months later She sent me 40 photographs on a CD, and I received a letter allowing me full control over the photos to do as I wished (I know there's a legal term for it, but it escapes me at the moment). If it weren't for those photos, I feel like my recovery would not be where it is today.

If you are looking for a worthy cause to donate to, please consider NILMDTS. They are celebrating five years of helping families, and you can click here to donate. They are asking for $5 to help families create precious memories.

Actual text conversation with my BFF:

BFF: I can’t swim cuz it’s rainin
Chick: Sure you can! U gonna get wet anyway…
BFF: It’s thundering and I have a rod in my back
BFF: Member?
Chick: Oh, yeah.
BFF: Gotta be careful or I will have electricity in my bones
Chick: Um yes please do. Should I be moving away from you when we are in a storm together?
BFF: That would b wise
Chick: I figured I would b the one to worry about being stuck down by lightning. U are the one who still believes in god…
BFF: Maybe u should
Chick: Nah…
BFF: To each their own
Chick: We should both go in out of the rain I guess!
BFF: I may melt
BFF: Or float like a turd
BFF: I’m sitting on toilet @HEB stinking it up
Chick: LOL!
BFF: omg this is when I call on Jesus
Chick: Call on dulcolax
BFF: LOL

Most interesting order I heard today

"I'd like a tall vanilla latte, hold the grinds, please"

my nights are days, and my days are nights..

I'm up all night, and sleepy all day. Martie has seen fit to try to adapt me to her sleep cycles, and its taking its toll on me. Apparently, canines sleep in 4 hour cycles, and feel perfectly rested. And humans, such as myself, need several uninterrupted REM cycles to feel rested. Its taking it's toll on me. I'm not thinking clearly until 2 or 3 in the afternoons.
and here I am again, its 2am, and I'm wide awake and laughing at the drunks on Facebook...

this is so annoying.

He posts pictures of my dog, and passes her off as HIS dog. It annoys me, to no end. He never even bought her dog food, or a toy. Never went with me to get her toenails trimmed, or paid for any vet visits. He was just a guy I slept with who likes my dog. I probably shouldn't even care, but it annoys me that he thinks he can pass her off as his. Is he trying to impress someone? Does he feel that he has so little, he has to attempt to impress people with a dog that he doesn't own? He's never even asked about her since I asked him to leave.

I think it bothers me because he's doing the same thing with JJ. He would do nothing but start fights with me, and disappoint me the ENTIRE time I was pregnant, telling people it wasn't his, sticking to his lie that he had a vasectomy, so I must've cheated on him and gotten pregnant. He didn't care that I was even in labor. Until he knew the baby was dead. THEN he stepped up. And he spent the next seven months bitching to me about the money he spent on the funeral.

It bothers me, because he's a pathological liar. And I know he's lying again, to someone, or someoneS, new.

I know you read this, Steve. Martie is not your dog. JJ was not your daughter. You were just a sperm donor. And not even an honest one at that.